Category Archives for "Anxiety"

06/02/2019

The Pitfalls Of Perfectionism

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Who’s on the podcast?

In this episode Jo speaks to Josephine Hughes, a Counsellor in private practice based in Southend-on-Sea, in Essex. Together with her private practice Josephine has developed her ‘Good Enough Mum’ work to support women who struggle to feel ‘good enough’, not just in their parenting but in their lives generally.

Josephine also manages a Facebook group called ‘Good Enough Counsellors’, which developed out of her Good Enough Mum work. More details can be found below.

What’s the topic?

Do you feel that things in your life need to be ‘perfect’? Do you feel the need to be the top-performing employee, an exceptional parent, or to get A-grades in all your exams? What might it be like if you didn’t achieve these things? What would that mean for you?

As much as we might strive to be perfect this isn’t really a concept that can be defined. In fact, perfectionism can leave us tied up in mental and emotional knots, and take away our enjoyment and appreciation of the ‘here and now’.

During the podcast, we reference two books by Brene Brown called The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly. Also, here is a link to the poem Wild Geese by Mary Oliver which Josephine talks about.

In this episode we talk about:

  • What Perfectionism is and the ways it might manifest
  • Josephine’s own experiences of trying to be ‘perfect’
  • How people can let go of perfectionism and begin to embrace their vulnerability and fallibility as human beings

Contact Josephine

If you’d like to find out more about Josephine’s private counselling practice then check out her Facebook page, or you can visit her website Talk2Jo.

Josephine’s Facebook page for The Good Enough Mum can be found here and you can also visit her website.

If you’re a counsellor and want to check out Josephine’s Good Enough Counsellors Facebook group then click here.

Thank you for listening

Thank you for supporting the podcast, it means a lot to us that you’re listening. If you enjoyed this episode please share it using the social share buttons on this page. If you have any comments, or suggestions for future podcast episodes then please feel free to get in touch 🙂

We’d also appreciate it if you’d review the show and leave a rating for the podcast in iTunes, and this helps it to reach a wider audience.

Finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast in iTunes to make sure you keep up to date with the latest episodes.

30/01/2019

Imposter Syndrome And How To Tackle It

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Who’s on the podcast?

In this episode Jo speaks to Jane Travis, who set up and manages the Grow Your Private Practice Club for therapists in private practice, to help them get the best out of their business. More details can be found below.

What’s the topic?

Have you ever been offered a job or entered into a relationship and had the sudden thought that, at any moment, you might be “found out” and that you don’t deserve the job or to be in the relationship?

Have you ever started seeing a Counsellor, only to think that you’re a fraud and that your problems aren’t as “bad” as other people’s? Or, perhaps these thoughts have prevented you from even seeing a Counsellor in the first place?

If so, it sounds like you might have experienced Imposter Syndrome.

In this episode we talk about:

  • What Imposter Syndrome is and the sorts of situations that may trigger it
  • Jane’s own experiences of Imposter Syndrome
  • Ways that people can manage Imposter Syndrome.

Contact Jane

If you’re a Counsellor in private practice and want to know more about promoting your practice then you can go to the Grow Your Private Practice Facebook page and Jane’s website Grow Your Private Practice.

Thank you for listening

Thank you for supporting the podcast, it means a lot to us that you’re listening. If you enjoyed this episode please share it using the social share buttons on this page. If you have any comments, or suggestions for future podcast episodes then please feel free to get in touch 🙂

We’d also appreciate it if you’d review the show and leave a rating for the podcast in iTunes, and this helps it to reach a wider audience.

Finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast in iTunes to make sure you keep up to date with the latest episodes.

23/01/2019

Unhelpful Negative Thoughts And How To Challenge Them

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Who’s on the podcast?

In this episode Jo talks to Zoe Hinett, a Counsellor in private practice at Sticks And Stones Counselling based in South East London. Zoe works with a lot of people who have difficulties with negative thought patterns and works with them to develop ways of managing them more effectively. Zoe also writes blog posts on this subject.

What’s the topic?

For people who struggle with anxiety, they may or may not be aware when they’re having unhelpful negative thoughts. If they can catch the unhelpful thoughts when they’re happening, they can potentially help to reduce their anxiety.

In this episode we talk about:

  • The different types of unhelpful thinking patterns
  • The triggers to unhelpful thinking, and their impact
  • The STOPP method of managing unhelpful thinking patterns from the Get Self-Help website

Related posts

Contact Zoe

If you’d like to find out more about Zoe’s private practice then check out her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and you can also visit her website Sticks And Stones Counselling.

Thank you for listening

Thank you for supporting the podcast, it means a lot to us that you’re listening. If you enjoyed this episode please share it using the social share buttons on this page. If you have any comments, or suggestions for future podcast episodes then please feel free to get in touch 🙂

We’d also appreciate it if you’d review the show and leave a rating for the podcast in iTunes, and this helps it to reach a wider audience.

Finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast in iTunes to make sure you keep up to date with the latest episodes.

16/01/2019

Working With Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

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Who’s on the podcast?

In this episode of the podcast Jo speaks to Sarah Felton who is a Counsellor in private practice based in Bradford, West Yorkshire. 

What’s the topic?

Sarah talks about her work with clients who are struggling with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). OCD is defined as “…a common mental health condition in which a person has obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviours” (NHS).

During the podcast, Sarah draws upon the book ‘Brain Lock’ by Jeffrey M. Schwartz.

In this episode we talk about:

  • What OCD is and the reasons why people suffer with it.
  • Sarah’s ways of working with clients with OCD.

Contact Sarah

If you’d like to find out more about Sarah’s private practice then check out her Facebook and Twitter pages or you can visit her website Sarah Felton Counselling.

Thank you for listening

Thank you for supporting the podcast, it means a lot to us that you’re listening. If you enjoyed this episode please share it using the social share buttons on this page. If you have any comments, or suggestions for future podcast episodes then please feel free to get in touch 🙂

We’d also appreciate it if you’d review the show and leave a rating for the podcast in iTunes, and this helps it to reach a wider audience.

Finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast in iTunes to make sure you keep up to date with the latest episodes.

09/01/2019

Anxiety And Mental Health From A Male Perspective

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Who’s on the podcast?

In this episode of the podcast Jo talks to Kev Cullinan who, as well as being a huge advocate for yoga and passionate about his music, has also struggled with his mental health.

What’s the topic?

Whilst there is increasing awareness surrounding male mental health, there are still pervading views in society that men “should be strong” and “shouldn’t show emotion” which only serve to isolate men further and increase their risk of suffering in silence.

On the Mental Health Foundation website it’s reported by the Office for National Statistics that there were 5,821 suicides recorded in Great Britain in 2017, and 75% were male. Furthermore, suicide is the most common cause of death in men aged  20-49 years’ old in England and Wales.

Kev discusses his struggles with anxiety and depression, and about his journey into developing ways of managing his mental health.

In this episode we talk about:

  • What it means to be a male with mental health difficulties
  • Kev’s experiences in disclosing his problems to mental health professionals
  • The coping skills and strategies that Kev uses to help manage his mental health

Related posts

Thank you for listening

Thank you for supporting the podcast, it means a lot to us that you’re listening. If you enjoyed this episode please share it using the social share buttons on this page. If you have any comments, or suggestions for future podcast episodes then please feel free to get in touch 🙂

We’d also appreciate it if you’d review the show and leave a rating for the podcast in iTunes, and this helps it to reach a wider audience.

Finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast in iTunes to make sure you keep up to date with the latest episodes.

02/01/2019

Anxiety In Children And Young People

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Who’s on the podcast?

In this first episode of the podcast Jo talks to Sarah Blunden, who is a Counsellor in private practice in Stoke-on-Trent. Sarah also works at a local charity counselling children.

What’s the topic?

It seems as though there are a lot more pressures on young people these days; this might be linked to things like social media and/or the need to do well in school. Whatever the reason, these pressures can increase their feelings of anxiety and worry.

The Mental Health Foundation states that 70% of children and young people who experience mental health problems have not received support at a sufficiently early age, so it seems pertinent that young people receive the support they need as early as possible.

In this episode we talk about:

  • Sarah’s work with children and young people and the sorts of issues that can cause them anxiety
  • How Sarah works with children and young people to explore their anxieties
  • Ways that children and young people can manage their anxieties more effectively.

Live Minds: Young people’s telephone service

North Staffordshire Mind now have a young people’s telephone service called Live Minds for children and young people aged 11-18 years’ old living in Stoke on Trent. The service is available to call free of charge on Wednesdays 4pm-8pm and Thursdays 4pm-9pm.

The number is 0800 0051 445.

Please note that the service is not a crisis line.

Contact Sarah

If you’d like to find out more about Sarah then check out her Facebook page, or you can visit her website Sarah Blunden Counselling.

Thank you for listening

Thank you for supporting the podcast, it means a lot to us that you’re listening. If you enjoyed this episode please share it using the social share buttons on this page. If you have any comments, or suggestions for future podcast episodes then please feel free to get in touch 🙂

We’d also appreciate it if you’d review the show and leave a rating for the podcast in iTunes, and this helps it to reach a wider audience.

Finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast in iTunes to make sure you keep up to date with the latest episodes.

The 12 Ways Of Surviving Christmas

Blog banner the 12 ways of surviving christmas

If you're someone who loves everything about Christmas then this might not be the post for you. However, we're going to assume that you've arrived here because Christmas is a time of year you struggle with.

Us too! Welcome to our exclusive club!

Actually, it's not so exclusive because we know that LOTS of you find this time of year difficult. The problem is that Christmas is promoted as "the most wonderful time of the year" and we end up feeling like we HAVE to put on a front of enjoying ourselves, even though we might be finding it all rather stressful.

The 12 ways of surviving Christmas

So, how can you get through Christmas unscathed relatively unscathed? We've got 12 tips for you in a serious/tongue-in-cheek post.

1. Take yourself away from it all

Yep, that's right. Wrap yourself up tightly in the fluffiest blanket known to man and don't leave the house until it's all over.

Seriously, if you need to stay in and shut yourself away from the world for a little while then do it. It's important to recognise the need for self-care.

Get yourself some nice food, put your favourite DVD/CD on and enjoy the peace and quiet.

2. Surround yourself with positive people

Don't underestimate the power of good people. Friends who lift our spirits can be hard to come by; if you have some then meet up with them.

They may even be people who like Christmas (don't judge!), but if being around them helps lift your mood then give them a call and arrange to meet them.

3. Don't get sucked into pressure of present-buying

Christmas can be financially hard for a lot of people, perhaps more so parents, with the pressure to buy the latest gadgets and toys.

Even if you're not buying for children, you may often feel the pressure of buying a "good enough" present for friends or relatives.

Why not suggest a "Secret Santa" as a way of reducing the pressure of present buying?

A lot of people set a price limit for the present too which helps to keep costs down.

The bottom line is, if they value your company then they won't give a hoot about the value of the present they receive, or even if they receive one.

4. Escape

While [insert generic family member] is peeling the spuds and the rest have nodded off, spy your chance and leg it!

Okay, so if that's not an option, you could say you're just popping to the shop and go out for 30 minutes to get some air and clear your head.

Even better, if there's a dog going spare offer to take it for a walk.

Taking time out of the situation you're in can give you a much-needed break and a chance to breathe and process anything that's causing you stress.

5. Go on holiday

Getting away for a week or two is a great way to avoid all the overwhelm of the festivities. Plus, it's a nice way to treat yourself.

We've done this ourselves and it's been really nice to spend time alone without needing to be sucked into all the "hectic-ness" (not even a word but it should be).

6. Go out to eat

If the thought of wrestling with the turkey or being attacked by the sprouts doesn't float your boat then maybe it's worth going out to eat.

Yes, it's an added expense for all concerned, but it doesn't need to be michelin star and it takes the pressure off needing everything to be perfect.

7. Volunteer

If you'd like to give something back over Christmas then there are plenty of organisations that need volunteers over the festive period.

Helping others at this time of year will not only help you feel good, but it'll get you out of the house if you don't want to be on your own the whole time.

8. Set your boundaries

Attending certain get-togethers might be something you don't feel you can avoid. Or maybe you do want to go, but want to set yourself time limits to avoid the over-whelm. 

Whatever your reasons, it's sometimes good to set people's expectations early on by telling them you can only stay for a certain period of time. That way it's easier when it comes to saying your goodbyes.


9. Worship the internet gods

What better way to avoid the Christmas crowds than by shopping online? We are HUGE advocates of this; we rarely set foot in the shops especially at Christmas time.

You can snuggle down on the sofa in your comfy clothes and trawl the internet for gifts, while smugly scoffing at the people getting into fisticuffs over the latest action-hero-doll-cum-coffee-maker-cum-steam-cleaner.

You can often get things gift-wrapped as well, so what's not to like?

10. Break with tradition

Who actually says that you have to make a traditional Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, or that you have to to adorn your house with tinsel and a Christmas tree?? *gasp*

This is all just a ploy from companies who want you to buy their products, when in reality you can celebrate Christmas in. Any. Way. You. Want. Or not at all.

So, make whatever meal you want. Do a casserole in the slow-cooker/crock-pot if you don't want to be stuck in the kitchen all day. If your relatives would prefer a traditional Christmas dinner then there's nothing stopping them from making it themselves on another day. They have 364 spare ones after all!

Don't bother with the decorations and/or Christmas tree if you don't want to. There are no hard or fast rules.You can do Christmas your own way 🙂

11. Don't take it all on yourself

If you've been forced volunteered to host a festive get-together, that doesn't mean you have to do it all yourself.

For example, you could ask each of your guests to bring round a dish to save you from doing all the cooking.

In fact, bringing people together and everyone contributing to the occasion is a good way of everyone feeling more involved in the experience.

12. Put things in perspective

Try taking a step back from the situation as this can help get some perspective.

Let's face it, a huge aspect of Christmas is that it's an opportunity for thousands of companies to make money. At the end of the day we have a choice as to whether we buy into that. Don't get sucked into the hype.

If you don't have the tree, the traditional dinner, the tinsel, the fancy presents, the Christmas music, the mulled wine, those awful (but funny) Christmas jumpers, that doesn't mean your Christmas is worth less than anyone else's.

In fact, it doesn't mean anything, because all the above is just stuff.

Another thing is that while Christmas is promoted as a time for family, many people don't have, or don't want, family around them. Whatever way you decide to spend the Christmas period, make sure you look after yourself if it's a difficult time.

Best wishes from both of us. We're taking a well-deserved break and will see you in the New Year.

05/12/2018

Why Not Everyone Enjoys Christmas

Blog banner Why not everyone enjoys Christmas

We all know the drill at this time of year. We're bombarded with adverts about the latest gizmos and gadgets to buy, not to mention articles on how to host the best ever Christmas dinner for the family.

There's a lot of pressure for people to be happy, and to spend however much money it takes to make other people happy. We're not trying to be a pair of grumps, but the fact is not everyone enjoys Christmas and we're going to explain why.

"Christmas is a time for family"

It's true that Christmas is a good time for the family to get together and spend time with one another.

However, there are many people who have lost loved-ones and there's the added pressure to socialise whilst trying to deal with their grief. Even if these loved-ones have been gone for some years, Christmas time may continue to trigger strong emotions. Some people may even have no family around them at all.

Others may not want to spend time with the family they've got for various reasons. There may be those who do see their family and really struggle, but to not see them would cause more conflict.

Families are complex, and we're 99.9% sure that no families are without some sort of difficulties. Therefore, don't assume that everyone wants to see their family at this time of year and that it might actually be a sensitive issue for some.

"Christmas is a time for giving"

There's a huge amount of pressure on people when it comes to buying presents at Christmas time. It might be on the parents whose children want the latest gadgets. Perhaps someone thinks if they spend more money on their spouse this will show the extent of their love for them.

Retailers are more than happy for people to spend their hard-earned money in their stores. They're not interested in the quality of our relationships; they want to make profits!

why not everyone enjoys christmas

However, we don't need to buy into all this hype (no pun intended). We can choose to let go of the pressure of gift-giving and give to each other in more meaningful ways. Volunteering, donating money, clothing, or food to charity are all great ways to give more meaningfully.

Getting friends and family involved in such activities can help to spread the message that there are more enriching ways to give to others, other than focusing on exchanging material possessions.

"Christmas is a time for socialising"

Some people might love the obligatory work Christmas party, or their friends' annual festive outing to a pub or restaurant. However, for others these social occasions can fill them with dread.

Similar to the expectations of getting together with family, there tends to be pressure on people to attend social gatherings. It's almost expected that everyone must want to go out to let their hair down.

The fact is that there are people who are just not into doing this. Perhaps they suffer with social anxiety, where attending such occasions proves extremely difficult, or maybe they just prefer to spend a quiet evening indoors.

Whatever the reason, it's important not to put pressure on those who may choose not to do what we expect at this time of year. No one has to do what others are doing; they can do what feels right for them, whatever that might be 🙂


It's "the most wonderful time of the year"

The fact is, that Christmas is not the most wonderful time of the year for many people. Christmas may evoke a lot of negative emotions such as sadness, loneliness, guilt, and/or regret.

It's important that we don't judge people who we think aren't getting into the "Christmas spirit". It's okay to feel whatever you feel at any time of the year and Christmas is no different, whatever the adverts might have us think.


why not everyone enjoys Christmas

If you know someone who's struggling perhaps ask if they'd like some support. It might be that they decline - perhaps they need time alone for reflection - but at least they know you're there if they want to talk at any point.


Peace, love, and understanding

The message we're trying to give here is, let's try to understand this from both perspectives.

For those who really struggle around Christmas time do what you need to do to look after yourselves. Don't feel that you need to bow to the pressure of what you think you 'should' do in order to fit in. Christmas means different things to different people.

Equally though, we wouldn't recommend shutting yourself away for prolonged periods as that can often make things seem worse. Get support from others if you're struggling. Don't suffer alone and try not to feel as though you're a burden if you admit to others that you're finding things hard. The people who truly care will support you.

For those people out there who do enjoy Christmas, get out there and enjoy the festive season. See friends/family if you want to. Go out for food, dance the night away at the work's Christmas do, and clink those champagne glasses!

However, also bear in mind that other people might not want to do these things, and that's okay. And, if someone does need to talk about why they're struggling, give them some of your time and a listening ear. That might be the best present they receive this Christmas 🙂

5 Ways To Get Organised And Reduce Anxiety

blog banner 5 ways to get organised and reduce anxiety

While this might sound harsh, it's important to acknowledge that we sometimes create our own anxieties. If we can recognise this fact, then that can help us move from a position of helplessness to one of being in more control.

Whether you're struggling with work/school, or keeping on top of things that need doing at home, there are different ways we help ourselves. In this post we focus on ways we can get organised and reduce anxiety.

1. Prioritise

Your 'to do' list of tasks may be ever-growing, and it might often feel that you're constantly working without feeling you're getting much done.

Have a look at your list and see if any of the tasks have deadlines. Ask yourself whether you need to prioritise the tasks which have an end date.

Can other, less pressing, tasks wait until the more urgent stuff gets dealt with?

Are there any tasks on your list which aren't actually your responsibility and need to be allocated to someone else?

2. Break tasks down into smaller steps

You might have things to do which, on the face of it, seem like mammoth tasks. Looking too far ahead at the overall goal may cause you to feel over-whelmed, so one way of dealing with this is to break tasks down into smaller steps.

A very simplified example might be: you have a report to write about staff satisfaction at the company you work for. The report requires a lot of detail and will likely take a considerable time to write.

Thinking about the report is making you feel anxious, so instead you look at the individual tasks you need to get done in order to complete the report. These might include:

  • Doing research on the internet about staff satisfaction in general
  • Interviewing a certain number of colleagues, using specific interview questions
  • Asking staff to complete questionnaires
  • Setting time aside to write the actual report

Once you've broken the overall task (i.e. writing the report) down into these smaller steps, you can then tackle each step separately. That way, once you've completed each step you can feel a sense that you're moving closer towards achieving your goal.

3. Set yourself goals

Setting goals can be a great way of motivating yourself to achieve the things on your 'to do' list. This is where SMART goals come in; you may well have heard of these. Here's what each letter stands for and how it applies to goal setting.

Specific

These are goals which are well defined. You might want to ask yourself things like what you want to achieve; why the goal is important to you; who else is involved; where is it going to take place; and which resources will be needed?

When these things are clearer, this gives you more focus towards your goal and you know what is required to achieve it which can remove a lot of the anxiety.

Measurable

When a goal is measurable, this helps you track your progress and stay motivated. It also means you remain aware of how close you are to achieving your goal.

Achievable

You may want to ask yourself how you can achieve your goal. Do you possess the tools/skills to achieve it, and if not how would you attain those tools/skills? So, instead of feeling anxious that you don't have the skills, you can identify what you need to do to get those skills and go and do it.

Realistic

When setting your goal, you need to be aware of the resources available to you, the knowledge you have, and the time you have to complete the goal. If you set unrealistic goals you may not achieve them and this might leave you feeling like you've failed.

Time-bound

How much time have you allowed yourself to achieve your goal? If you don't allow sufficient time you may not get it done, or you may rush to get it completed and not do it properly.

We've got two more points to add which aren't so much about planning, but more about your mindset.

4. Don't compare yourself to others

We're all different. We all have different skill-sets, different day-to-day responsibilities, and different amounts of available time in any given day.

Therefore, it's futile to look at someone else and perceive that they're achieving more than you, or doing things in a better way.

Don't waste your time focusing on what other people are doing, as this only takes you away on the things you've got to do!

5. Go easy on yourself

There are only so many hours in the day and there's only one of you. You can't do everything.

Use the tips above to help you get more organised and reduce anxiety, but don't beat yourself up if you don't clear your 'to-do' list all at once. There's no such thing as perfect 🙂

Do you have any tips to getting organised? Let us know in the comments!

7 Ways To Tackle Low Self-Esteem

blog banner 7 ways to tackle low self-esteem

There's a lot of information out there about the symptoms of low self-esteem. It can lead to people withdrawing from social situations, focusing on the negatives, and being unable to take positive feedback (i.e. compliments) from others.

Through our work with clients we often see a link between their low self-esteem and their levels of anxiety.

Where does low self-esteem come from?

Low self-esteem can stem from any number of situations or events.

Perhaps people in your family or teachers at school said certain things which made you feel inadequate. On the other hand, you may not have been told anything directly. It might have been the way other people treated you which led you to believe you're not "good enough".

Stressful life events can also have a negative impact on self-esteem. You might have lost a loved one or experienced a serious illness, and this can all take its toll on our perceptions of ourselves.

Low self-esteem and anxiety

In a previous blog post we explained a technique for how to figure out your negative core belief, which is a 'global belief' you may apply to yourself as a person. If you have low self-esteem this core belief might be something like "I'm a failure" or "I'm not good enough".

A negative core belief can impact on many aspects of your life. For example, if you have a belief of "I'm not good enough" this may cause you to avoid situations such as meeting new people or trying a new hobby due to the anxiety invoked by each situation.

Think about the prospect of meeting new people when you have a core belief of "I'm not good enough". Examples of the thoughts you might have are: "No one will want to talk to me", "I'll end up standing on my own", or "I'll make a fool of myself in front of people".

Such thoughts aren't going to fill you with much confidence. If anything, they're likely to make you feel anxious about going into that situation. We've said this before and we'll say it again: It's not the situation, but our thoughts about the situation which cause us to feel a certain way.

The impact of low self-esteem

The example above highlights how much of an impact low self-esteem can have. It can stop us from meeting new people and trying out new experiences.

We can end up isolating ourselves because we don't feel we're good enough to be with people, and we have no confidence in our ability to succeed in new situations.

The problem is, the more we avoid these new situations the more our low self-esteem is reinforced because we're not challenging the thoughts which feed into our fears.

7 ways to tackle low self-esteem

Here are seven ways you can tackle low self-esteem. You may find that some work better for you than others. That's fine; stick with the ones that work well!

1. Challenge your negative thoughts

Thoughts are not facts, but we give far too much weight to them. They're our beliefs about ourselves or a given situation which are likely to have been influenced by past experiences.

Check out our blog posts herehere, and here for ways to challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs.

2. Make a list of all the things you're good at

We can't possibly be good at everything, but we need to focus on what we're good at rather than beating ourselves up for things we're not so good at.

Make a list of all the things you're good at, together with the qualities you like about yourself. Having these things down in black and white can help you appreciate them more.

3. Surround yourself with positive people

Unfortunately we may know people who tend to (consciously or unconsciously) reinforce our low sense of self-worth. They reiterate how difficult everything is rather than helping us look for ways to address the problem.

When we're feeling down on ourselves, we need people around us who are in "our corner", who will help us get out of the funk we're in and encourage us to dust ourselves down and move forward.

4. Don't be so hard on yourself

No one is perfect and no one gets everything right all the time, and that's okay!

We may make faux pas in social situations, we might make mistakes at work or not do something to the standard we expect of ourselves. Lower your expectations to more realistic levels.

Accept that you're human and you're fallible, just like everyone else on the planet!

5. Don't take on too much

Often, people with low self-esteem take on more and more responsibilities in an effort to prove to themselves that they have worth. In fact, when you take on more than you can handle you're not valuing yourself.

Be more assertive and learn to say "no" sometimes. Constantly saying "yes" will only give people the signal to keep coming to you, and overloading yourself will only lead to burn-out.

6. Feel the fear and do it anyway!

We talk about this in our post here. Sometimes, the best way to give our low self-esteem a kick up the backside is to face our fears head on.

Pushing through the fear can have a hugely positive impact on your sense of achievement.

7. Seek external support

Friends and family may mean well when offering support, but perhaps they miss the mark or say things which aren't always helpful. Having someone who is outside the situation, with an impartial perspective, can be beneficial when working with low self-esteem.

If you feel it might be helpful, consider seeing a Counsellor to help you explore your low self-esteem and how you can improve it.

What things do YOU do to help you feel better about yourself? Comment below 🙂

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